Funniest. Autocorrect. Ever.

Person 1: I am hungary

Person 2: maybe you should czech the fridge…

1: im russian to the kitchen!

2: is there any turkey!?!?

1: we have some, but its covered in a layer of greece.

2: ew. there is Norway you can eat that.

Trying. Not. To. Laugh. eep. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!!1

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You know you’re a bookworm when…

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what’s going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fan fictions about the book.

You try to get all of your friends to read your favorite books.

You accidentally call everyone by the character’s names.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time.

You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can’t.

You’ve gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class.

You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod.

You’ve got a book memorized.

You’ve read a book more than five times.

You’ve read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.

You’ve planned and prepared a siege on a writer’s house because he/she killed a character you like.

You’ve plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional.

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.

Your idol is a character from a book.

You know you’re a 39 clues fan when…

You are one-hundred percent sure that Kurt is a Vesper spy

You stay awake at night wondering if Shep is still in jail

You cried (or at least felt like it) when Irina died

You’ve read all the books at least four times… and they still aren’t old

You wish Ian and Amy would just make up already!

You read a certain book series, listened to a certain music genre and/or watched a certain TV show, just because one of the characters liked it.

Whenever you see something suspicious, you claim it’s a Lucian spy sent to kill you (Or a different branch if you are a Lucian)

You’ve read nearly every FanFiction on the 39 Clues fandom

You’ve dreamed about 39 Clues once… or twice… or more…

One of your favorite numbers is 39, 7, 5 or 19 (39 because… well duh. 7 for how many teams are in the series. 5 for how many Cahill branches there are. 19 for how many main characters there are).

Anytime someone talks about someone famous like George Washington, you’re always telling them what Cahill branch they’re from

Whenever you see a famous guy like Benjamin Rush or John Hancock, you wonder if they’re a Cahill, Vesper, or none of the above

You made four accounts on the 39 Clues website, one for each branch, so you could read all the files

Your parents roll their eyes whenever you bring it up, because you talk about it WAY too much

You sign your E-mails with what ever your alias is on your agent card on the 39 Clues website

You started liking History because 1) Amy and Jonah like it 2) You need to prepare for the hunt, and 3) You need to know more about your relatives

You want to be trilingual just because Nellie is

You found, and memorized, all 39 Clues from the official website

You try to live up to the expectations of your branch: you’re an Ekaterina, so you’re constantly trying to get better at math and/or science; you’re a Janus, so you’re always practicing music, writing and drawing; you’re a Lucian, so you’re always trying to solve puzzles and get better at lying…er, I mean acting; you’re a Tomas, so you’re always trying to do brave things, like water skiing.

You buy everything 39 Clues you can get your hands on

You’ve learned, and memorized, everything there is to know about the Cahills and the 39 Clues contest

You’re going to buy the movie when it comes out, even if it stinks (which you know it will because that’s how it is with books-turned-into-movies, they’re never as good as the books themselves)

You hate it when people remind you that the 39 Clues aren’t real, and come up with a hundred reasons why it vary well possibly could be real.

Most of your daydreams consist of at least one character from the 39 Clues series

You have a crush on one of the book characters

Whenever you get something 39 Clues related for your birthday, Christmas, etc. you start flipping out, rejoicing in being able to add to your 39 Clues collection

You actually HAVE a 39 Clues collection

You wish you could meet the people that play the characters in person

You wish you could meet all the authors

You’ve declared September 27th national “Cahills Made Up Day!” or something close to that (see book ten, page 326, line 18, words 4 through 6 for confirmation!)

You want to take a trip around the world, and stop at all the places Amy and Dan went

You buy every book the day it comes out, no later then the day after it comes out

You have actually tryed to put together the clues

You confuse your history teacher as to why you know so much about Ben Franklen

You have the first to pages of chapter 14 in book 3 memorized

You make your parents take the quiz to see what branch they are

When you lost the board game the first time you cryed because you thought it ment you weren’t a good clue hunter

You predected that the Madrigal’s were started by someone named Madeline

You knew someone named V was a problem before the 10th book because on the site somewhere it says “Could it be V?”

You read Shakespeare just to learn the insults like Dan

When you’re mad at someone you call them a “Slimy Lucian” even though they have no idea what you’re talking about

Every time you hear a love song you think of Ian/Amy

You have rewriten a song to be a Cahill version

You actually realized that Ian/Amy started liking eachother the same way Hope/Author did

You speculate as to who Irina’s child’s father is

You think there is no way on Earth Irina’s dead because she’s to cool for that

You have plans to break into the KGB just to get Irina’s fingernail things

You started saying “dissing” because Jonah does

You guessed who the Man In Black was, and you were right

The wallpaper on your computer has something to do with the 39 Clues

You can give the title and colour of the books without thinking

You bought a book just because it was writen by one of the authors

You desperetly want to be in the movie

You cheer every time someone says “39”

You “go all Lucian” on anyone who disses the books

You say “go all Lucian”

You say “your Janus is showing” or Ekat, or Tomas…

Some random stuff that made me laugh so hard I fell out of my chair.

I’m not afraid of death. What’s it gonna do? Kill me?

Copy and paste this to your profile if you haven’t died yet.

Cross over to the dark side… WE HAVE COOKIES!!!!!!!

I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it

They say ‘Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.’ Well, I think the guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG I don’t think you’d kill too many people.

If you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the bell and run away, he hates that

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most

An apple keeps the doctor away, if well aimed

When people ask dumb questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers.

I’ve always wanted to go into an elevator full of strangers and say “I bet you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today.”

If I still can’t hear or understand what you said after you repeated it 3 times, I’ll just laugh and hope it wasn’t a question.

I constantly have weird conversations with my friends and then think if someone heard us, they would take us to a mental hospital.

I love how in scary movies, the person yells out “Hello?” As if the bad guy is going to be like, “Yeah, I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?”

I hate how, when it’s dark, your brain suddenly thinks, you know what we haven’t thought of in a long time? Demons!

When I’m waiting in a long line for food, I rehearse the order in my head.

Using a different word because you can’t spell the one you originally wanted to use.

If people winked as much in real life as they did in texts, the world would be a pretty creepy place.

If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t for you.

I don’t care how old I am. If I see a bubble, I will hunt it down and pop it.

What happens if you get scared half to death… twice?

Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.

The dinosaurs extinction wasn’t an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep – not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on!

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have more birthdays live longer.

Didn’t fall, I was just testing gravity. Yep, still works.

Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are the main reason I have trust issues.

I’m not clumsy. It’s just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the wall gets in the way.

I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I’d love to punch in the face.

If you fall, I’ll be there. -Floor

Laughing so hard, no noise coming out, so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.

That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock down 2 lamps, and kill a cat.

Best friends are people who will kill each other over a bag of chips.

They’re laughing at me because the think I’m weird. I’m laughing at them because they only figured it out now.

I love school. Except for the learning part. That part gotta go.

When life gives you lemons…you throw them at people!

If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic…

An apple a day keeps the doctor away… but why would you want to keep him away when you have the chance of meeting him and helping him save the world some day? You know what? I’m going to stop eating apples right now.

I’m pretty sure Mondays need to go die.

Don’t try to out-weird me. YOU WILL LOSE.

I didn’t lose my mind. It’s at home sitting next to my common sense.

If you get caught staring at least you know he was looking back.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

You say I’m not cool. Cool is another word for cold. If I’m not cold, I must be hot. I already knew that, but thank you for telling me!

1 out of 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends. If it’s not them, it’s you.

My shinbone has a purpose: I use it to find furniture in dark rooms.

There is always a voice in the back of my head telling me what is good for me. I usually turn it off by having chocolate.

Of course I’m out of my mind! It’s dark and scary in there!

I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

I used up all my sick days…so I called in dead.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

If aliens are looking for intelligent life, why the heck are you scared?!

I’m a female. Fe = Iron. Male = Man. Therefore, I am Iron man. If you are a nerd, you will agree now that females are the dominant gender.

When cleaning my room: 1% cleaning, 30% complaining, 69% playing with stuff I just found.

That LIKE A BOSS moment when you get the answer right and the smart kid doesn’t. But what if you’re the smart kid?

Shower = the place of thoughts and decision making.

If you can’t win an argument, correct their grammar instead.

No one is afraid of heights, they are afraid of the fall. No one is afraid of the dark, they’re afraid of what’s in it.

No ipods in school, yeah like hearing “Winter Wrap Up” for the millionth time will give me all of the answers.

I hate when websites ask, “are you human?” umm hello? I’m obviously a Dracon/time lord/nerd/unicorn/Ravenclaw house Hogwarts student/Jedi.

“H3y, wh@t R y0uu dO!nq?!” Well, I’m about to throw a dictionary in your face.

Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much

We’re best friends. You hurt, I hurt. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a bridge, I laugh harder.

Reality is more fun when you make it up

Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid!

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? That’s a really good question…i wonder…

You feel feel sorry for me because I’m mad

And I pity you because you think you’re normal.

Anyway, I hope you liked this!

A Fateful Day

It was two years since Orange Swirl and Scooter were first introduced to the school and they were, as expected, top of the class. Scooter had been studying directly with Discord, learning that she had the most draconocuus blood in her out of all the dracons. She was surprised when her blood test results came in. “75 percent? That’s an academy record!”

Orange was highly advanced in transfiguration magic, or turning one thing into another thing. She was the first foal in her class to successfully turn a match into a needle without blowing something up.

They had also made tons of new friends. The 1/3 triplet known as Ladybug was the best filly to look to when you needed something protected. She could make standard force fields, but her limitations didn’t stop there. She could set up elaborate traps with poison darts and huge boulders (The darts only put you to sleep for a few minuets and the boulder was usually made out of styrofoam, but it was surprisingly effective). The other 1/3, Bumblebee, was extremely strong in invisibility and camouflage. He could play the biggest pranks on any unsuspecting bystander this way, and matched his sister’s specialty very well. Robin, however was extremely shy. If you did not know her, then you would think that she wasn’t part of the triplets. She mostly hung around Fluttershy, helping her care for the abundance of animals in the garden, including some additions Discord had made, like the jackolope, platypus, and even some parasprites (the parasprites were under a spell so they wouldn’t go out of control eating everything again). Actually, the parasprites did help do something useful.

Perry was quite interested in the parasprites and was constantly in the garden, studying them. He could tell any pony how many times a parasprite’s heart could beat in one minute. “73 times per minute.” He could tell you what each color of parasprite stood for. “Orange stands for leader, brown for worker, blue for medic…” (he would then go into a long description of which color stood for each type, which I know no one wants to hear). He knew everything there was to know about them, even learned their language, which consisted of a series of notes that was similar to humming. One day, he was in the garden, helping to feed the many creatures, when he spotted something brown underneath a leaf. He gasped. It was a leader parasprite with a broken wing! Without a leader, the poor creatures couldn’t do anything but wander around aimlessly. The leader was the core to a parasprite hive. Perry couldn’t stand to see this poor creature like this. He went to find Fluttershy, but she was nowhere! He asked Discord where she was. “She went to lunch  with her friends. She’ll probably be back in an hour.”

Oh no. Perry thought. An hour to a pony is like a year to a parasprite. They won’t make it without a leader for an hour. He sighed. Because magic was not allowed outside of classes, he couldn’t use his chaos to mend its wing. No, he would have to do this the old-fashioned way.

He knew that there were some blue parasprites in the colony, but he would have to get them to go to the leader. He couldn’t risk picking it up, for fear it might hurt its wing even more. He would need to speak the parasprite language. He knew how to understand the hums and purrs that came from them, but he had never been able to imitate them. The colony was in the west side of the garden, and the leader was in the far east of the garden. He had to fly there, despite his flimsy wings. He got a running start, then started to flap his wings 73 times per minute. He flew faster, faster, the wind blowing in his blue and orange mane. When he finally  got to the colony, he couldn’t fly any longer. His insect-like wings were to fragile to risk flying back. He needed the parasprites to go back to the west, so he tried humming a sequence of notes that were supposed to mean “Help needed west”. What he didn’t expect was for the parasprites to act so quickly, It was his first time actually talking parasprite language, after all. But they understood him, and headed off to the west to help their leader. Just then, a flash of light appeared on his flank, and where once was just grey skin was now a cutie mark! It had three parasprites, one pink, one blue, one brown. This was the first time any dracon got a cutie mark! When the news spread school wide, every pony was trying to get theirs, too. So began a new adventure for a new group of foals.

Me Fangirling About Discord and a Few Other Things

OH MY GOSH! HAVE YOU SEEN THE MY LITTLE PONY SEASON FOUR FINALE! IT WAS AMAZING! The fight scene with Teirek vs Twilight Sparkle was animation worthy of Disney! The fact that Discord was in it only made it 20% cooler! As you probably know, Discord is my favorite character, villain, alicorn princess, and Hogwarts student. He is voice acted by John de Lancy, who also played Q in Star Trek, which is cool because Q and Discord have extremely similar character arcs. Also, his role in that episode was FANTASTIC! It wasn’t a Discord-centered episode, but it really felt like one. I don’t spoil endings, so I won’t say his major role in the episode. Also, there was Fluttershy and Discord interaction! As Fluttershy would say (Says in a high, quiet voice) “yay!”. I absolutely ADORE it when they interact. It really shows because my favorite episode is “Keep Calm and Flutter On”, in which Discord is sent by princess Celestia to the mane six so he could be reformed by Fluttershy so he could use his chaos for good instead of evil. Also, my favorite fanfic is “Bride of Discord” by Disneyfanatic 2364, which is basically “Beuty and the Beast”, except Fluttershy doesn’t have Stockholm syndrome. If you are reading this, DF, YOU ARE THE BEST WRITER IN ALL OF THE UNIVERSES I HAVE EVER TRAVELED TO! Though, there is a universe out there in the void where you don’t even exist, where everyone is a dog, where fanfics have never been invented, etc. What is very unique about Discord is that he isn’t even fully reformed. Nightmare moon turned straight back into princess Luna after the elements hit her, but when Discord was reformed by Fluttershy, he was still some of his old, chaotic self. In “Three is a Crowd”, he is constantly causing mischief for Twilight and Cadence. He even sings a song with the purpose of just overwhelming them with everything he needs to “get over the blue flu”, where he says he needs a glass of water, codfish oil from a crystal cruet, pumpkin soup, scarves made out of silk, a new trapeze, basil, a wig, a goat on skis, and I can’t even remember the rest. But, where’s the fun in making sense? He is the spirit of chaos and disharmony. Don’t expect anything expected.