Things to do in an Elevator!

1. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead while muttering: “Shut up, admit, all of you just shut UP!”

2. Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.

3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there.”

4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

6. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

8. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go ‘plink’ at the bottom.

9. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: “I’ve got new socks on!”

10. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, no, not now, stupid motion sickness!”

11. Meow occasionally.

12. Holler “Chutes away!” whenever the elevator descends.

13. Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side.

14. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.

15. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to the other passengers with it.

16. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask “is that your beeper?”

17. Say “Ding!” at each floor.

18. Say “I wonder what all these do?” and push the red buttons.

19. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

20. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your ‘personal space.’

21. Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”

22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

23. Wear ‘X-Ray Specs’. Pretend they work.

24. Stop at every floor, run off the elevator, then run back on.

25. Holler, “Group hug!” and make it happen.

26. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

27. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”

28. When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.

29. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

30. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

31. Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”

32. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”

33. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

34. Pretend you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

35. Swat at flies that don’t exist.

36. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.

37. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.

38. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, “Hide it…quick!” then whistle innocently.

39. Let your cell phone ring – don’t answer it.

40. Walk into the elevator and say “This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days…”

41. Take your shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don’t.

42. Ask people which floor they want, say in ‘Who want to be a millionaire’ style, is that your final answer?

43. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say “you should be ashamed of yourself!”, and leave the elevator tutting.

44. Ask, “Did you feel that?”45. Tell people that you can see their aura.

46. When the doors close, announce to the others, “It’s okay. Don’t panic, they open up again.”

47. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce “It is time…”

48. Press a button, step back and cross your fingers, eyes squeezed shut, mouthing “Please please please…”. When the elevator starts moving raise your fists and scream “YES!” look around at the other passengers as if expecting them to share your excitement…

49. Have an argument with yourself.

50. Glare at someone till they notice, then point two fingers at your eyes, then point at them.

51. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on ask if they have an appointment.

52. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

53. If anyone questions any of your actions, claim to be under the influence of dark magic.

54. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

55. Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn’t you.

56. Do the “potty dance” all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

57. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the elevator. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you “won’t ride an elevator that’s not fung shwei.

58. Lean over to another rider and whisper ‘Noogie patrol coming!'”

59. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

60. Drum on every available surface.

61. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out “pirate” maps to everyone as they enter.

62. Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

63. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

64. Say “ring ring,” then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.65. Propose to the other passengers.

66. Challenge people to duels.

67. Sell girl scout cookies.

68. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger…”I’m kinda nervous…this is my first time flying…”

69. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

70. Shout “Food fight!”

71. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: “Some people are trying to sleep here!”

72. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you’re sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

73. Elevators were practically MADE for river dance!

74. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the elevator goes up or down, shout “WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!”

75. Shave.

76. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream “AHHH!! We’re all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It’s over! IT’S OVER!!” Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

77. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

78. Practice your kung fu.

79. Do yoga.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s